Hope is out of our hands. One can hope immensely, but the simple act of hoping is rooted in a feeling of helplessness. This short story is a play on desperation and hope. It brings to life the feelings of desperation I felt as a first-gen student my first year. Being free to imagine a world of my choosing. Going into places of happiness within my mind when happiness couldn't physically manifest itself for me. The feeling of not being able to control your own life, where its going, and where you want it to be. Luckily I wasn't abandoned. This story presents the worst case scenario reflections of a student down on his luck.